Mattress on roof, will travel.

Putting a brand new box spring in the rain is certainly not advisable, but who takes advice when they should? Not us. Oh no.

"Gee babe, looks cloudy. Think we can make it?"

My fiancé and I bought a queen mattress and box spring this weekend. Super cheap, great quality. We were able to grab a mini van, but the box spring would not fit in the back. So, we strapped it to the luggage rack. As we pulled away from the loading dock, I cast a wary eye at the clouds above. We had a 45min drive ahead of us.

"It won't rain," my fiancé said. "God loves us."

"He does," I replied, "but he also has a sense of humor."

Boy did He. As soon as we merged onto the highway (driving at a cautious 45 mph) the deluge started. The box spring was covered in plastic but we had no hope. It looked like a wind sail. Every car on the highway passed us like it was their business.

But we made it into town. I grabbed my cell phone.

"Hi dad, happy Father's Day. Guess what."

My dad, brother, and fiancé moved the box spring and mattress into my apartment in the pouring rain. (I stood to the side supportively.) There was much hauling, pushing, pulling and maneuvering. The men-folk decreed that they could not get the box spring into the apartment thought my front door, as the hallway was too narrow. So we shoved it up to my second-story balcony. With the "help" of my brother (he was busy abusing one of my cats), I pulled it over the ledge while the other two pushed it up to us. It was a success. We cut the plastic off and drenched my floors, but to our utter amazement the box spring was very dry. One corner was a bit damp, but not soaked.

We all stood around boasting of our mattress-moving prowess for a while. Then I wished dad a proper Father's Day with the first volume of The Walking Dead comic book. He was pumped. I got a text message later that said "great gift!" In the end, all men want is a picture book about zombies eating brains. (Me too, for that matter. Oh well.)

Of course, as soon as we walked out onto the porch, sopping wet, the clouds dissipated and a heatwave hotter than Vulcan's gonads hit. You can't win. But I guess I got a queen mattress, so take that, weather!

Shower Shenanigans

Imagine a fluffy, tan carpet. Now imagine raspberries. Oooooh….

The wedding shower is over. We made it through. With a few stains, but that’s what makes these things so epic.

My mother did an excellent job- she hosted it at our house and set it up like a fancy tea-party. My sisters and I had bets on who would be the first to spill/ drop something on my mom’s carpet. We saw my cousin (who will remain unnamed) drop her entire parfait when she went to sit down. It was like a slow-motion drama. I could see the look of “Oh my Gooooood” in her eyes as the cup flipped over. She cleaned it up and ate the rest of her meal in the kitchen. She’s older than me, and I’m 23. Just sayin’.

But, to my surprise, she wasn’t the only one to drop the little parfait cup. Apparently, one of my esteemed coworkers chased a rolling raspberry around the room before I walked in. This little fact came out at work the day after, and she burst out laughing at her desk. I can’t imagine her stooping over a tiny piece of fruit in her platforms and office dress- while balancing a teacup. It’s like a scene from Fantasia.

I got some nice stuff. People should pretend to be getting married, collect all of the shit they can, and then leave the state. My fiancé called me with cries of, “What’d we get? What’d we get!?” It’s like Christmas.

I made personal thank-you cards with my scrapbooking material, just to give everyone something different.

Wedding Stress!!

When I think of the overall goal of a wedding, (I do, you do, the end!) I can’t help but get annoyed with the details I’m told I “have” to attend to.

It’s become readily apparent that my fiancé and I have very different ideas about formality. He wants a limo, I just want to car pool; that type of thing. He tells me I have to do something a certain way, and I retort, who says so, and on and on it goes.

in saecula in saeculorum, amen.

Speaking of things you are told you “have” to do . . . the fiancé and I have ditched the china. No, I didn’t toss them out for target practice with my .38. (But that would have been most entertaining.) We just looked at each other one day, and asked, “Why are we getting this stuff?”

We are going to be moving quite a bit, so packing expensive dinnerware would be more stressful than anything. Plus, we wouldn’t use it. Holidays will be spent at one of our parents’ houses. And then we plan to have kids. Who break china. Plus, I'm more of a klutz than any kid I'll have.


Two more months. The devil is really in the details.

Let them eat....cupcakes.

My mother's 50th was this past March, so I was able to have some cake-making practice.

My dad thought I'd bought the flowers. I made them. It's a small victory.

My cupcake tier came in the mail lat month! It's a 6-tier that will hold about 150 cupcakes. I'm going to make the 4" cake on the top. Here we go!

Mom's still trying to get me to go to Guss' Goodies. It's a challenge now.

An eye for an "e."

I really don't care that there's a mistake on my wedding invitations. Is that bad? You tell me.

Here's the text the future hubby and I prepared before we sent it out to the printers. Read and be in awe:

This is what we got when the invitations came in:

Did you catch it? I sure didn't. I signed the proofs with the carefree innocence of a newborn babe. I didn't even catch it when I picked the box of invites up. And then I got home.

"Isn't there an "e" on the end of "Bellaire"?" My dad asks.

I thought he was messing with me. But he was right. Crap.

I think of what I can get away with-will anyone notice? I test it on my sisters and random friends. They didn't notice until I told them about it. One friend typed it into her GPS, and she didn't correct her spelling. It got her to the church. If you type it into google, it auto-corrects. But it gets you there.

I want to get away with it because I'm cheap. :) Buying invitations AGAIN for an "e" seems so silly. And after the wedding, who the heck is going to remember if it was spelled wrong anyway?

But apparently, this is the seventh deadliest wedding sin. If Dante were around, he'd probably have put me into some low level of Hell.

Where this hits me (metaphorically) below the belt, is that these invitations were generously paid for by a friend. And now we have to re-order. And of course, that friend cannot be expected to pay again.

So I picked them up yesterday. My parents shelled out $120.00 for an e. They're so proud.

Cake: Take One- Action!

Homemade chocolate cake with chocolate butter-cream icing. The only thing I didn't make were the roses on top. I could deal with this on top of my cupcake tier.

I've been messing with fondant cutters, and have actually managed to make some decent looking flowers. They take two days to fully harden, so they sit on my counter that long, and then I put them in a Tupperware container I keep at room temperature. I was told not to freeze them; not sure why.

I made some nice looking blue flowers with pearl-candy centers. Having a little bit of trouble with those pearls keeping in place; they roll off the fondant after it hardens. I think I need to add water to the base to make them stick.

That said, this has been a positive cake experience for me. I kept the decorations simple and elegant. It sits in my fridge now. I'll take it to my family tomorrow. I'm sure my 3 teenage siblings won't mind. ;)

Mighty Morphin Cupcake Action!

Oh, I went there. And I stayed overnight, and ate everything in your fridge.

Not really.

But, I'm officially trying out recipes.

Yea, I made that shizzle. And you know what? It's awesome.

If I wasn't already getting married, you'd probably propose.

Vanilla cupcakes with butter-cream icing, topped with a delicate candy flower. I can't find fondant molds ANYWHERE. T___T I can find cutters, but those are boring. It's for lame fondant cooks. If I have to rob a culinary school, I swear I will. Really, how hard can the be to find? I went to Joanne Fabrics and Celebrations. Maybe I'll try Michaels this weekend.

That said, I bought fondant cutters and roll out fondant, but have done nothing with it yet. It seemed like a waste to put flat shapes on top cupcake frosting.

I cut my recipe in half to make only 12 of these little beauties. They turned out exceedingly well. Not too sweet, but not too plain. I've included the recipe at the end of this post.

Poof was no help at all. I don't know why I keep her around.

Here's the recipe for the Vanilla Cupcakes:

2 Cups Flour

1 1/2 Cups sugar

3 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 cup shortening

1 cup milk (2%)

4 egg whites

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla


Butter-Cream Icing


1/2 cup shortening

1/2 cup butter, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

4 cups confectioner's sugar

2 tablespoons milk

a pinch of awesome