What Models Make you not Want to Wear

I imagine that there is nothing funnier than a wedding dress model taking a nosedive off of the runway.

If I opened a bridal salon, my logo would be:

“Getting married in style? You might not make it up the aisle!”

I went to a bridal show this past weekend. Line after line of poor, terrified girls waddling down the runway with 3-inch heels and mermaid gowns was enough to make me hope. A few of them tripped rather spectacularly. Why would you want to wear something you can’t even walk in?

The girls I saw looked scared. The girls in magazines? They all look ticked. I imagine the cameraman says something like "you smell a pungent odor...great, baby hold it!”

Or, they just look downright astonished.

My dress, I’m proud to say, is very comfy and certainly easy to get around in. It’s much more traditional looking than the modern, off-the shoulder stuff you see today. It has puffed sleeves. I know what you're thinking, but it's not as bad as say, this:

And no matter what I can't look this bad: